Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Bumper Stickers

I have seen this bumper sticker on cars and SUVs over the past few years on about a half dozen occasions and in three different states.


When I first saw this, I remember thinking, "Wow, he must have really done something terrible. He probably was caught surfing internet porn or running around with her best friend."

By about the third I heart my wife bumper sticker, I started to wonder if it was possible that the wives put the men up to it, or if maybe the husbands were inserting the stickers of their own volition. I just assumed it was not possible.

By the fifth one, I began to sense a practical joke, sort of like the "Eve was Framed" or "My Kid Can Beat Up Your Honor Student" stickers I have seen over the years.

I witnessed my latest one earlier today, and now I am back to thinking that maybe the husband is just declaring his love after all. Still, I could not envision myself buying a proclamation of my love and then sticking it on my car. It seems tactless, even disrespectful, almost encouraging fellow drivers to think the worst (like maybe this is his way of saying he already has a mistress or one of Mr. Haggard's friends). There is just no way a happily married man should put that on his vehicle. You would either have to be on drugs or believe in religion to be that sincerely commercial.

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