Friday, February 6, 2009

Moron Report #30: Sarah Palin's Name Picks

I have resisted adding the Governor of Alaska to my hall of shame. True, she thinks the Vice President sets the legislative agenda of the Senate, cannot name what papers she reads or which countries are in North America, or any Supreme Court case outside of Roe v. Wade. And yes, she thinks rape victims should pay for their own rape kits (in a state with the highest rate of sexual assault in the country), and that impregnated rape victims should be forced to carry the fetal products of those assaults to term. And oh, yes, she thinks that 6,000 years ago dinosaurs pranced around the earth with us. All of this is sadly true.

And I hate to sit in judgment of any parent's choice of name for his or her kid. After all, Frank Zappa named one of his children Moon Unit. A couple in Pennsylvania named their kids after Adolph Hitler, Heinrich Himmler, and Aryan Nations (just to make sure they covered their white pride bases, I suppose). Still, even I have my limits. Naming a baby after the HQ of ESPN?

Palin: ESPN inspired daughter's name

(CNN) – Sarah Palin’s media blitz continues in a new, expansive interview with Esquire magazine, in which the Alaska governor reflects on the presidential race, her favorite lip balm, and how her ESPN motivated her to name her daughter Bristol.

Palin told the magazine the inspiration for her oldest daughter’s name had a few sources. She once worked at a Dillingham hotel called the Bristol Inn, and her husband Todd grew up in Bristol Bay.

“But also, Bristol, Connecticut, is the home of ESPN,” she explained. “And when I was in high school, my desire was to be a sportscaster. ESPN was just kicking off, just getting off the ground, and I thought that's what I was going to do in life, is be one of the first woman sportscasters. Until I learned that you'd have to move to Bristol, Connecticut. It was far away. So instead, I had a daughter and named her Bristol.”

Esquire published online excerpts of the interview last month, including one in which Palin bashed “bored, anonymous, pathetic bloggers who lie.” But on Friday, the magazine released a miscellany of nearly two dozen quotes from the interview, which covered everything from moose chili to Saturday Night Live.

Looking back on the campaign, Palin reiterated her disappointment with the McCain campaign’s decision to pull out of Michigan early.

“We pulled out of some states that I believe we should have continued to campaign in and sent a stronger message that those states really mattered, regardless of the number of electoral votes there,” she said. “The people mattered. I would have loved to have had more influence on where it was that we campaigned.”

As she said in the earlier excerpts, Palin said she wished she could have called “some of the shots” in the race. “Don't just assume that they know you well enough to make all your decisions for ya,” she said.

The governor noted that she’s a big fan of a certain lip ointment. “I'm addicted to Carmex,” she said. “I don't go anywhere without Carmex.”

She also said: “Everything I've ever needed to know I learned through sports.”

At the end of a long day, she said, she likes to take a bath with her son Trig, and then fall asleep listening her daughter Piper read aloud.

“She's learning to read and she'll read for hours on end,” she said. “It's idyllic. It's amazing.”

It sort of makes you wonder what motivated her to name the other kids Trig, Track, Piper, and Willow. Congratulations, Sarah, you made it on the same list with gored American tourists in the Running of the Bulls, a creation science teacher who takes to burning crosses into his students' arms, and this nice lady who vampired her bed-tied boyfriend. An honorable group, indeed.

No comments: